Heart Eyes

Josh Ruben’s “Heart Eyes” kicks off with a sugary-sweet intro that quickly turns into a self-aware, slasher-infused bloodbath; an unmistakable nod to Scream. 

But while it borrows the structure and energy of classic horror, this comedy-horror leans far more into the comedy, packing itself with absurd stereotypes and boneheaded decisions that lead to predictably gory outcomes. It’s not a film you’ll remember for long, but it’s a damn fun ride while it lasts.

Set in Seattle - once the house of grunge, now the hunting ground of a heart-eyed killer - “Heart Eyes” isn’t just another holiday horror cash-in. 

Drawing inspiration from Eli Roth’s "Thanksgiving," Ruben delivers a sharp yet entertaining critique of Valentine’s Day, peeling back the layers of commercialized romance to reveal the often absurd and desperate quest for "perfect love."

The movie gleefully mocks the fairytale ideal of Prince Charming and happily-ever-after, as our masked murderer takes revenge on the hopeless romantics who buy into the fantasy. If you’ve ever rolled your eyes at the forced romance of February 14th, this movie might just be your catharsis.

Unfortunately, “Heart Eyes” doesn’t fully commit to its strongest ideas. The kills - while entertaining - could have been more creative, and the love-hate theme never reaches the deliciously twisted potential it teases.

And then there’s Mr. Heart Eyes himself, a slasher villain who desperately needed more screen time to solidify his place in horror history. As it stands, he’s a fun concept that never fully materializes into something iconic.

That said, don’t write Heart Eyes off too soon. The final act delivers the film’s best kills, and “Stupid Cupid” is worth the wait, serving up exactly what you came for. 

There aren’t many surprises here - this isn’t a genre-redefining film - but it’s pure, ridiculous entertainment. A movie is tailor-made for singles looking to laugh at the sappy, love-obsessed world around them. Just don’t take it too seriously…it certainly doesn’t.